Shopping Tips Online

Since I have officially finished my Christmas shopping, I was out and about today picking up a few things for myself and realized that I do live up to my profile: One Tough Customer. There are things about shopping that deepen my wrinkles, give me acid indigestion and bring on periodic bouts of Tourette’s Syndrome.

I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings here, but let’s face it. A lot of shopping annoyances come from the folks in the stores. Sales people, register clerks, service personnel, etc. I understand that working retail is hard, I worked retail years ago, and I probably did most of what I am about to call out.

That being said, here are my top ten shopping pet peeves (standard disclaimers apply).

I can’t stand:

1. Salespeople who attack. Please do not rush me at the door. It’s startling, upsetting, and liable to make me run away.
2. Register clerks who ignore me. I spent time choosing my stuff, I have made my selections, and now I am in line to spend my hard-earned cash. So you don’t have to kiss my butt, but at least acknowledge my existence.
3. Salespeople who act pissed. You may actually BE pissed, and I can sympathize. But that attitude is contageous. You act pissed toward me, I act pissed right back atcha, and the five people behind me catch it, too. Why spend an entire day being pissed? Fake it if you have to, but don’t act pissed.
4. Slow motion sales. Time has stopped. I keep looking around to see if everyone else has noticed that nothing, absolutely nothing, is happening. By the time I reach the checkout, my will to live is virtually gone.
5. Fast motion sales. I want to go through the process as quickly as I can, sure. But it flusters me when you throw my stuff at me before I’ve had a chance to pull out my credit card. Suddenly I’m back in 5th grade track and field, running as fast as I can just trying to keep up, getting all sweaty and feeling like I am definitely letting down the team. Don’t put me through that.
6. Tag team sales. I told the first five salespeople that I was “fine” and “browsing,” don’t you guys communicate?
7. Sneaky salespeople. You can expect me to jump and scream when you sneak up on me while I am intently looking at flannel pajamas. Do not sneak up on me.
8. Invisible salespeople. There are occasions when I need to ask someone a question, get help finding something, or have a tall person help me with that box on the very top shelf. When I have to wander through 8 departments to find one salesperson, it bothers me. It bothers me more when I wander through 8 departments to find five salespeople talking about how late they stayed out last night. Be around.
9. Too talkative salespeople. I don’t dislike you, I just don’t know you. We’re probably not going to become best friends. So we can be nice, but we don’t have to get to know each other.
10. The Clerk’s Club. Nothing makes me feel more like I am interrupting your conversation than standing in line while you catch up with your co-worker. Excuse me? Can I, uh, bother you to give you some of my MONEY?!

I know this sounds harsh, but hey, I told you. I’m a tough customer.

Top Ten, Lists, Pet Peeves, Shopping, Salespeople, Clerks