Shopping Tips Online

Believe it or not, online shopping may be hitting its peak. This article reports that Internet sales climbed an amazing 24% to hit the $100 billion mark in 2006. Now the experts are saying that within four or five years, the sales gains will likely be only 4-5% per year. Why? Partly because everyone who is going to be shopping online probably already is. Which means that Internet retailers are scrambling to figure out how to increase their market share, or increase business with current customers.

One key opportunity which retailers are becoming more interested in is what I call “word of mouse.” Web sites and blogs like this one spread the word about good and bad shopping experiences, and help our fellow users find the best stuff.

Called mavens by The Tipping Point author Malcolm Gladwell, these are “inherently helpful” people who gather and share product and style information with their friends and social peer group. Their influential advice is spread to eight times as many people as the average person. So some retailers are trying to insinuate themselves into the social networks where these people hang out, including photo-sharing sites MySpace and YouTube. A study released by Yahoo! Inc. estimates 43-million people fit the description and influence $1-trillion in retail sales.

Here’s my take on this.

The tricky part for retailers will be how, when and were to “insinuate” themselves into social networks. We online shoppers are no dummies, and we know a blatant commercial when we see one (”Drink more ovaltine!? A lousy commercial!?”). We can also spot a fluffed up product review vs. an objective one, making it easy to see if a “maven” has been bought off. Social networks work because they are an open forum for sharing ideas and reviews, and as soon as they become overly commercial, we will find other places to hang out.

Online Shopping, Online Retailing, Social Networking

I have made jokes about needing “retail therapy.” I have shopped for comfort when I have felt depressed. I have justified buying something expensive because “it spoke to me.” (Okay, not literally.) Am I a “shopaholic?”

This may seem like a strange topic for a “Shopping Tips” blog. After all, this site exists to bring you news about the retail industry, show you where to find cool stuff, and help you enjoy your shopping experiences. But, there is a serious side to shopping that can and does affect millions of people every year, and that is a real addiction to spending money.

According to an article on WebMD, compulsive spending is a serious addiction that can destroy a person’s finances and relationships.

“Compulsive shopping and spending are defined as inappropriate, excessive, and out of control,” says Donald Black, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. “Like other addictions, it basically has to do with impulsiveness and lack of control over one’s impulses. In America, shopping is embedded in our culture; so often, the impulsiveness comes out as excessive shopping.”

Here are some questions to ask yourself –
1. Am I spending over my budget? If you are spending more than you make, but keep going until you are in financial trouble, you may have a problem.
2. Can I keep myself from spending? If you go shopping for one thing but can’t keep yourself from buying 10, you may have a problem.
3. Do I have to shop 365 days a year? If you’re spending compulsively year-round, not just a one-time spending spree, you may have a problem.
4. Am I hiding stuff or lying about it? If you are hiding your purchases because you’re scared of what others will say, or if you have secret accounts, you may have a problem.
5. Do I act out of guilt? If you feel guilty and take things back, or if your guilt triggers another shopping spree, you may have a problem.
6. Is my shopping and spending hurting my relationships? If your shopping leads to coverups or deception that are affecting your relationships with family or friends, you may have a problem.
7. Am I out of control? If you have developed a pattern of spending, with negative consequences, and you are no longer in control of your actions when you shop, then you may have a problem.

Shopping can be fun and rewarding, but not if it’s an addiction. If you feel that you, a friend or family member are affected by this problem, there are many qualified resources to help. Start with the WebMD article, then consider a preliminary psychiatric evaluation, or join a recovery program designed for compulsive spending. With the help of mental health professionals and debt counseling services, these destructive behaviors can be changed, and spending can be brought back under control.

Shopaholics, Shopping Addiction, Compuslive Spending, WebMD, Debt Counseling

Since I have officially finished my Christmas shopping, I was out and about today picking up a few things for myself and realized that I do live up to my profile: One Tough Customer. There are things about shopping that deepen my wrinkles, give me acid indigestion and bring on periodic bouts of Tourette’s Syndrome.

I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings here, but let’s face it. A lot of shopping annoyances come from the folks in the stores. Sales people, register clerks, service personnel, etc. I understand that working retail is hard, I worked retail years ago, and I probably did most of what I am about to call out.

That being said, here are my top ten shopping pet peeves (standard disclaimers apply).

I can’t stand:

1. Salespeople who attack. Please do not rush me at the door. It’s startling, upsetting, and liable to make me run away.
2. Register clerks who ignore me. I spent time choosing my stuff, I have made my selections, and now I am in line to spend my hard-earned cash. So you don’t have to kiss my butt, but at least acknowledge my existence.
3. Salespeople who act pissed. You may actually BE pissed, and I can sympathize. But that attitude is contageous. You act pissed toward me, I act pissed right back atcha, and the five people behind me catch it, too. Why spend an entire day being pissed? Fake it if you have to, but don’t act pissed.
4. Slow motion sales. Time has stopped. I keep looking around to see if everyone else has noticed that nothing, absolutely nothing, is happening. By the time I reach the checkout, my will to live is virtually gone.
5. Fast motion sales. I want to go through the process as quickly as I can, sure. But it flusters me when you throw my stuff at me before I’ve had a chance to pull out my credit card. Suddenly I’m back in 5th grade track and field, running as fast as I can just trying to keep up, getting all sweaty and feeling like I am definitely letting down the team. Don’t put me through that.
6. Tag team sales. I told the first five salespeople that I was “fine” and “browsing,” don’t you guys communicate?
7. Sneaky salespeople. You can expect me to jump and scream when you sneak up on me while I am intently looking at flannel pajamas. Do not sneak up on me.
8. Invisible salespeople. There are occasions when I need to ask someone a question, get help finding something, or have a tall person help me with that box on the very top shelf. When I have to wander through 8 departments to find one salesperson, it bothers me. It bothers me more when I wander through 8 departments to find five salespeople talking about how late they stayed out last night. Be around.
9. Too talkative salespeople. I don’t dislike you, I just don’t know you. We’re probably not going to become best friends. So we can be nice, but we don’t have to get to know each other.
10. The Clerk’s Club. Nothing makes me feel more like I am interrupting your conversation than standing in line while you catch up with your co-worker. Excuse me? Can I, uh, bother you to give you some of my MONEY?!

I know this sounds harsh, but hey, I told you. I’m a tough customer.

Top Ten, Lists, Pet Peeves, Shopping, Salespeople, Clerks

There are two kinds of people in the world. Keepers. And returners.

I am a keeper. I don’t care how much I hate the carved wood kitty cat ring holder Aunt Edna gave me, I will never, ever return it. I will try to make it work in several rooms, on my dressing table, and even next to the kitchen sink. But eventually, those beady little eyes will get to me and the thing will go in a box in the garage to either be regifted (unlikely), sold in a garage sale (doubtful) or to be moved from one residence to the next until someone, years from now, will have to deal with it after my ultimate demise. Maybe by then it will be in style.

I know returners. There are days I WISH I were one of you! To return with no guilt, no remorse. That must be a very freeing feeling. If a gift receipt isn’t included in the package, these returners make an educated guess and take the item to the most likely store in an attempt to return or exchange. Mostly they are successful.

Keepers fear returners are returning their gifts. Keepers put a lot of thought into each gift, trying to reduce the chance of its being returned. Returners don’t care a whole lot. After all, “if she doesn’t like it she can always exchange it,” they say.

Keepers are in the majority, but barely. According to a survey by the National Retail Federation, 37.6% of consumers will return some part of their gifts after the holidays. Doing the math here, that means that one of every three people I will give gifts to will make a return. Sigh. Oh bother.

Check out the article for some helpful tips on returns and exchanges after Christmas. Probably the most useful one is to ask for a gift receipt. Most retailers provide them, and they’re easy enough to tuck into the package with the gift.

(By the way, if the ring holder appeals to you, it can be found at colorfulcritters.com and retails for $9.99. I’m not kidding.)

So, are you a keeper or a returner?

Returning Gifts, Christmas Gifts, Return Policies, Gift Receipts, Cat Ring Holder

Sigh. For a woman, it’s wonderful. For a guy, it’s probably just the most confusing thing ever. You have entered the phase where a gift is expected. Guys, I’m here to help you out. To make it easy, let’s limit the shopping to one online retailer, J.Crew.

Stage 1 – We’re in L…L…Like?

You are not ready for jewelry or lingere, right? And you need a gift that puts you in a positive light. Go for something that says you’re not a tightwad, you have good taste, and you care about keeping her adorable little ears warm. Cashmere hat, scarf and/or gloves. All three will set you back $148. If you want to spend a little less, at least get the scarf for $68.

Stage 2 – She’s My Girlfriend and I Don’t Care Who Knows It
By now you know a lot about this woman, so this gift needs to be about HER. You expect to drop some cash, so brace yourself. A gorgeous leather bag, suited to her work/style/personality might be the ticket. This one is particularly nice and will fit everything she needs. It’s $325. But, you will score major points for a gift like this.

Stage 3 – I May Occasionally Call Her My Old Lady
You’ve made it to the “serious” stage, which varies from couple to couple. Essentially you are “in love.” Yeah you! You’ve probably made it through a lot of gift giving opportunities already, so at this point you’re just looking for ideas. If you have the money and the wherewithal, I recommend this gorgeous shawl collar cashmere sweater. At $498 it’s extravagent, yes. But isn’t she worth it?

Of course these are broad, sweeping generalizations. Only you know where you are in your relationship. Maybe you are in the “Single Malt Scotch” phase, or maybe you are in the “Airplane DVD” phase.

Whatever stage you’re in don’t sweat it. If you need suggestions, talk to a good woman friend, or leave me a comment and I’ll make a suggestion. Don’t worry, women never run out of ideas for gifts we’d like to get!

Gift Giving, Guys, Relationships, J.Crew, Cashmere, Leather Bags, Hats, Scarves, Gloves, Sweaters

The letter usually started like this:

Dear Santa. I have been a very, very good girl this year.

Then came the list. Some years long, some years short. Always specific. (Sidebar: Why, if Santa knew when I was sleeping and knew when I was awake, did he NOT know what I wanted for Christmas? Discuss.) Of course I eventually realized that the list was being intercepted by mom, who processed the order.

Are lists still necessary? In an informal survey among my friends and co-workers, there was no definite answer. Some say yes. Some say no. What are the pros and cons of making a list?

Pro-List
• A list guarantees that you will get things you need and want
• A list reduces the odds of having to return or exchange a gift
• A list helps the gift giver, saving them time and frustration

Anti-List
• A list means that the giver isn’t familiar with the recipient’s hobbies or interests
• A list limits the giver’s creativity
• No list means you’ll be surprised (for better or worse)

Online wish lists are gaining in popularity. (more…)

All you need is a gallon of milk and a head of lettuce, but you DREAD the grocery. The parking is a mess, everyone is in a hurry and it’s just like facing a firing squad.

This time of year, any shopping trip is more and more of a struggle. It’s as if everyone has been turned loose and it’s a free-for-all. I try to stay away from the places I know will just be upsetting, but the reality is that we still have our usual shopping that must be done, so there’s no way around it. I have some ideas for how to deal with the crush this time of year.

1. Don’t try to rush. Everything takes longer now, so just accept it. Trying to rush will only make everything seem like it’s moving in slow motion.
2. Don’t try to find the closest parking spot. You will probably actually save time parking further away than waiting for a spot closer to the door.
3. Multi task. If you can do your banking, your grocery shopping and pick up your prescriptions all in one trip, go for it. Take advantage of what your grocery has to offer in terms of other services, too, like dry cleaning drop-off or mailing centers.
4. Make a list. This shows up on every shopping tips list for a reason. It works. Floundering through the store trying to remember what you need is frustrating enough – wait until you get home and realize you forgot the one thing you went for in the first place, a gallon of milk.
5. Smile at people. Studies have shown that smiling actually improves your health and your mood. Smile at the clerk at the grocery. Smile at the person in line at the drug store. According to Daniel H. Johnston, Ph.D., Macon, Georgia, “Forcing yourself to smile may work almost as well as laughing, at least, for changing your mood. Putting a big smile on your face sends a message to your brain that things are – okay. If you are smiling, your brain thinks, ‘I must be happy.’ You can fool yourself into feeling good by smiling.” Even if you don’t feel like smiling, try it.

Holiday Shopping, Stress, Grocery Shopping, Smiling

I am not a psychologist or a doctor of any kind. I’m not a guru, yogi or guide. If you want advice about beating holiday stress from any of those types, there are articles out the snow globe all over the Internet. Have at them. Here are three I found in a matter of seconds. Take the stress out of holiday shopping. Tips offered for holiday shopping stress. 10 tips for stress-free online holiday shopping. There you go.

That being said, I have 10 very unscientific ways to deal with holiday stress. (The standard disclaimers apply.)

1. Shorten the gift list. This is not a joke. This year, buy only for the people closest to you. Give cards and a hug to the rest. You will feel like a thousand pound weight has been lifted. Don’t feel guilty.

2. Admit you’re human. There are only so many days, and only so many hours. If you’re not ready to admit that, check out the dark circles under your eyes and the vein popping out on your forehead. It will be okay.

3. Play A Charlie Brown Christmas – The Vince Guaraldi Trio every chance you get. It’s like a sedative.

4. Have an eggnog, hot buttered rum, hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps, or the holiday drink of your choice. A little glow from the drink and a glow from the Christmas lights and all will be right with the world. (Drink in moderation.)

5. Avoid the situations you know will make you mad. I can’t drive into the parking lot at the mall after Thanksgiving without feeling like I have a severe case of Tourette’s syndrome. So I don’t do it. There is always somewhere else I can go to get what I need. Saving a buck isn’t worth feeling like the top of my head is going to come off. (more…)

“Retailers learned this weekend that men are willing to get out of bed for a good deal,�? said Phil Rist, Vice President of Strategy for BIGresearch. “While women seemed to take a more casual approach to Black Friday shopping, men went out on the hunt and then went back home to bed.�?

I have been thinking about the new statistics released by the National Retail Federation that said that men got in line earlier and spent more than women on Black Friday. Just this morning I heard this being discussed on a popular news network. So, I started thinking about just where these differences come from.

According to the Relationship Institute there are several key differences (besides the obvious) between the sexes. I will look at those and, just for fun, make my own assumptions about how that might affect shopping behavior. (more…)

I was in line at the grocery store, absently reading the headlines of the tabloids, when I felt a nudge from behind. I turned and there was a woman’s cart right up against me. I went around and stood next to my cart, thinking, “maybe she just doesn’t see me standing here.�? I went back to reading about who had whose baby, when suddenly my cart was bumped. I pulled my cart forward, trying to create more space between the front of her cart and the back of mine. Seconds later she bumped it again. I finally made eye contact and got a “sorry.�?

I have had similar experiences just about everywhere I have had to wait in lines.

People. We must learn to respect personal space while shopping. It’s especially important during the holiday season, when we are crushed together in malls, department stores and groceries. It’s the violation of this space that can make a happy Bob Cratchet turn into a miserable Ebenezer Scrooge. (more…)

You know the old adage: the worst time to go grocery shopping is when you’re hungry. I don’t know about you, but I have been grocery shopping hungry – everything looks good and I ended up shopping way off the list.

This philosophy is born from the same place. If you shop when you’re angry, the outcome is usually negative.

Here was my experience when I’ve gone shopping angry:

• Everything was agonizingly slow. Clerks were slow, lines were slow, traffic was slow. Instead of slowing myself down, I just got more angry and frustrated.
• Everything looked like something I “needed.” Even the ridiculous blue shearling coat with pink and green beading and faux fur lining (I’m not making that up).
• Everything looked like something I “deserved.” That’s when the price started looking reasonable even when it wasn’t.
• Nothing was as good when I got it home as it was in the store.

So, I have learned (over and over) not to shop when I’m angry. Shopping, while it can be therapeutic at times, doesn’t make the source of the anger disappear.

I’m interested in stories of times when you may have shopped while angry – or depressed or happy – and how mood affects the outcome of the trip! Feel free to share!

Shopping, Moods, Therapy, Advice

This may sound like something your mother used to tell you. And if so, I apologize. But, she was right. Buying for the sake of buying ends up being wasteful and unsatisfying in a number of ways.

In this new series, we’ll explore my philosophies of shopping. They may not be yours, and that’s okay. Just know this: My goal is always to save you money, and make your shopping experiences more satisfying.

Here is the scenario. There on the clearance rack is a certain sweater that catches my eye. It could be because it’s 80% off regular price – seems like too good a deal to pass up. Or it “spoke” to me – there’s just something about it I like.

So, I grab it up and wander the store, asking myself “when/where would I wear this?” Then I make the mistake. I buy it just to buy it. And the sweater that was such a good deal ends up in the box going to Goodwill. The same applies to household items. Not only does it frustrate me to know I spent money on something I have no use for, but it reminds me of a frustrating shopping experience. And I hate that.

I developed a shopping philosophy called “buying for the sake of buying should be avoided.” Here are the two key things you have to tell yourself.

1. Even if it’s a killer bargain, it’s a waste of money unless you can use it.
2. This is not the last item for sale on the planet. Be reasonable.

I’d love to hear your own examples of what/where/how you may have fallen victim to “buying for the sake of buying.” And look for more on Shopping Philosophy 101!

Shopping, Bargains, Spending, Advice